Memphis Business Daily - Backstabbing Coworkers Knowledge Base

Backstabbing Coworkers Knowledge Base

How does a person deal with backstabbing coworkers and bosses?

Is there anyway to go to work & not have to deal with office "poli-tricks" and backstabbing coworkers?

How do you deal with backstabbing, coniving coworkers? They seem to be more concerned about keeping tabs on everyone else and quite frankly I'm tired of feeling as if my work is being scrutinized under a microscope by someone who is less than worthy

jealous,backstabbing coworkers.? How do i deal with coworkers who think im fake. every job i work hard. Im not trying to impress anybody, it just something to do to get by the day. if you stand around the time moves slower and i look at it as exercise. coworkers spread lies about me and make it hard for me at work. I don't want to be a supervisor or never want to. Should I just find a new job?

gossiping & backstabbing coworkers (3) and my supervisor is one of them.? Ive been at my job for a year. And I do like my job a lot. But Theres these 3 people who are constantly talking bad about some person or other. Coworkers, doctors, ups drivers. You name it - they're talking trash - they even talk about one another behind their backs (family members too) My coworkers tell me its been like for years! The higher ups seem clueless, but then again their interactions are limited. I got tired of being lied to (my supervisor has straight out lied to me on numerous occasions to get me to agree to take on more duties) once & tape recorded my next "meeting" with my supervisor. I dont plan on doing anything with it - but I knew she was telling me one story while telling others something entirely different. I told none about the recording. But if it comes down to it I wont have to rely on he said she said. So anyways, should i just ignore the lies and back stabbing and placing blame on others (my super never take responibility for anything) That's what Ive pretty much been doing & as long as I stay away from them & limit my interactions its easier. But then its more like being in denial. I do not want to rock the boat. I did that one day & the very next day I was given a corrective action for entering a name incorrectly (yes I did it several days prior, but it wasn't written up until the day after I stood up for myself. possibly a coincidence. But I did bring it to my bosses attention- that I was the only one written up for the error, but the front office didn't catch the error. It passed a 6 point check (1 person) the report was written (1 more person) the report was faxed (another person) and then my supervisor even billed it with the error (1 more person) So several people looked at it, they have "checks & balances" in place & I was the 1 and only person written up. What are some of your opinions?

What's the best way to deal with a 2 faced backstabbing coworker?

Are these signs of a backstabbing coworker? - dismisses solid advice - fills you in on projects at the last minute if at all - tells you that 'you seem miserable here it would be nice to see you somewhere where you would be happy' - vents about something and then when you support their right to vent, changes their tune - can be very sweet regarding non-work issues, catches you off guard - appear to suck up to other coworkers you've known for an extended period of time

How do you stop a backstabbing lying coworker when your boss thinks she is perfect?

How do you deal with a backstabbing co worker B4 you even build up a network of support from other coworkers? I work in the Media industry and in my last three jobs I have been the victim of workplace politics. I have been on the receiving end of backstabbing from people I considered friends, nepotism, and coworkers turning bosses against me before I've even had a chance to make a first impression. What makes it worse is that it has never been because of the quality of my work. At every job my boss has been very vocal about my work saying I'm doing a great job and trusting me with more responsibilities and creative control. Then, one day, that will suddenly change, they'll become cold and distant and start looking for excuses to fire me. Before I know it, I'll be gone. Sometimes I have suspected a backstabbing co-worker but it is so hard to find out what's really going on. Every time I enter a new job I come in with an open mind, I don't prejudge anyone and I act very professionally. I'm also not a doormat, I know politics is a fact of life, but this always seems to happen to me. What is it? I consider myself friendly I was even told so by some coworkers b4 all of this happened.I am not an extreme chatterbox, but not too quiet. I am unsure what went wrong. I do know the girl has made backhanded comments to me mainly about my clothes. She hinted to other co-workers that I might have a "boob job" even though it's not true. I wear tastleful clothes she hates me. I've been nothing but nice to her. I am usually careful about what I say I "think" b4 I speak....I just don't understand.

Should I act a little cold around coworkers whenever I start working? People tell me to just be myself, but I'm scared that being myself I might accidentally let my guard down & allow bad people to use me. I remember hearing stories from my mom & aunt back when they working about fellow coworkers who tried to screw them over. Thus, should I act a little gothic/emotionless when I'm around coworkers to let them know that I ain't taking no negative, backstabbing crap?

How can i prove myself on the job when a coworker is backstabbing you? so much intrigue and hypocrisy :(

How do you deal with a backstabbing,two faced co-worker that acts like your friend?I NEED TO VENT!!!? I can't believe this one coworker of mine totally became backstabbing and 2 faced and has started to turn things around that I say! She complained to one of our supervisiors today about something that I supposedly said that was inappropiate and that she was offended by it so I went off on the supervisior and told her that this one coworker says inappropriate things ALL the time and Ive never complained and that I told my boss that I have told this backstabbing coworker she needs to watch what she says.I have told this coworker I didnt like a couple things she said--and I thought she would have the same courtesy for me-- But since I havent been talking to her much lately she has turned into a total bitch! Now she complains to management. I feel like telling her off but that wont do any good.What should I do?Thanks for letting me vent

Interviewed for a job, warned about gossiping coworkers? I recently interviewed for an admin. asst. job. Both the VP I would report to as well as the admin. I would be replacing mentioned how the other admins gossip and asked me how I would handle that. I took this as a huge red flag. I have been around that before and want no part of it. I'm too old to put up with backstabbing coworkers. I'm disheartened with large companies and all the crap that goes on with politics and gossipy coworkers - you'd think this **** would be left behind in high school but it seems worse in the adult world. I want to work and be productive in life - a little gossip isn't harmful but always worrying about what people are saying behind my back isn't worth accepting the job knowing I'd have to play games. Why are people so two-faced in this world? Insecurity?

The last two offices I worked in were full of backstabbing co-workers.? I was lucky enough to be moved out of this enviornment and into another office in the same company with wonderful co-workers. The old coworkers who are very jealous of my going to a better place, continually spread nasty rumors such as my leaking company secrets to upper management. None of this is true, and I'm sick and tired of having to defend myself against this backstabbing. Any suggestions are welcome. I was considering filing formal harassment complaints with the company's HR department. Leaving the company to go work elsewhere right now is not an option, I've been with them 15 years and am 5 1/2 years away from retirement.

How do i deal with bitchy coworkers (healthcare)? I work in a healthcare setting. There is a lot of backstabbing, gossip and nasty notes written to place blame on the last shift for work that doesn't get done. All of them are women, some who have worked there for 20 years. How, I don't know. Bitchy PMS menopause city.

How long does it take to feel coworkers out? I just returned to the workforce. I'm the newbie. After a month I'm still feeling awkward around people. Just wanted to find out generally how long does it take to differentiate between potential allies to evil backstabbing trolls?

Is there a technique for dealing with a backstabbing coworker and subtly, effectively, turn the tables? I would like to work in peace -"live and let live" so to speak. However, it seems to be an impossible endeavor while dealing with a coworker who is sneaky and manipulative. And...why is it upper management cannot see the situation for what it really is? How do I keep from self destructing from the stress and irritation? Reporting her will not work as she has endeared herself to the blind. I cannot explain how manipulative she is. I've never seen anything like it. I don't know if other people see through her. She is dripping with sweetness. Even clients are slipping her cash - which I've never seen done in my industry --they pay enough in fees as it is. It seems surreal. I've tried telling myself how ridiculous I am -- she's obviously very good at her job, and maybe I'm a bit jealous. Then, when I let my guard down, she slices off another piece of my job and it becomes her's.

Can I get fired over the following statement? yesterday at work, i found out who i could really trust, and who was a backstabbing coworker. so, i went on facebook, and posted as my status: "CVS and all the douchebags that work there, except a select few, are really starting to piss me off." my mom and dad seem to think that they can fire me for writing this. i dont think so, since i didnt put anyone's names down what do u think?

How to deal with nasty, gossipy women coworkers??!!? I wonder if anyone else out there is in or has been in a similar situation to mine and, if so, what did you do about it? I work in an office with about 7-9 other women, only women. For lunch we all get together in the lunch room at the same time, we eat our lunches, and then sit and talk. I find this to be a hindrance to work more than a help, but they insist on it, and because I don't want to be completely ostracized, I do it. The conversation often turns nasty about other coworkers who aren't in the room at the time (the manager includes herself in this ragging on other coworkers), and it makes me EXTREMELY uncomfortable. Also, it doesn't just happen in the lunch room; it's all day long. I've heard every single one of them make nasty remarks about virtually all the others! The manager and another employee even very often sit in her office and gossip nasty about coworkers ... and I know that EVERYONE is on the list! (I've even heard them make a couple nasty remarks about me.) It's like being at a friggin slumber party of mean girls! I keep my mouth shut when they talk nasty about our coworkers, but geeeeeez, I can only keep quiet for so long when most of the conversation is nasty about coworkers! What I'm wondering is if there is anyone else who has been in a similar situation and how they dealt with it? The nastiness behind each other's back is a DAILY thing around here, and it's beginning to weigh me down. Work suffers, morale suffers, it's a ridiculous situation, and it's mentally and emotionally exhausting. I'm safely certain, however, that if I were to be candid about it - get it out in the open and take a "let's talk about this" approach - I'd be alone ... everyone would deny it! Why do women have to act like this? Why?! So often I find women to be difficult to work with -- petty, gossipy, backstabbing, passive-aggressively competitive, and I find that WOMEN often cause more problems for other women in the workforce than do men. Can anyone give me some solid advice on handling this rock-and-a-hard-place situation? Thank you! I should probably add that I was in a similar situation many years ago, and when I stepped forward, because they all denied it, I ended up looking like the troublemaker. They ganged up and I ended up losing my job!

How can I get over this fear of changing jobs? I'll be finishing my course soon, and I have to start looking for the job. Out of everyone in my class, I have the most experience in the field so you would think that I would have the most confidence. However, while my classmates seem to be looking forward to getting into workforce, I am dreading going to work in a new place- even though I will be making more money. I've had bad experiences before of being snubbed by potential employers and of backstabbing coworkers, so I've lost my confidence. Is this normal or am I being irrational?

Do I have bad (jealous, competitive, backstabbing) friends? Friend 1: always has bad comments about whoever is my current boyfriend. Her comments plant seeds of doubt in my mind about my guy. With an ex bf, she wanted us to park in front of his house to see if he was cheating on me even though I didn't suspect he was, and even though earlier she mentioned how another female friend did something similar and she looked down on the other friend's actions. Friend 2: I thought I could trust this one more, but according to my boyfriend, she complimented is voice in flirt tone of voice with him and kept talking about herself making herself look good or better than me, When my boyfriend tried to end the conversation several times, she would keep talking. When my bf would say that I'm the most beautiful woman he's ever laid eyes on, my friend said she's eautiful too. And also she told my bf that she taught me a lot at work (both these friends are coworkers except Friend 2 was fired recently). Friend 1 is defending Friend 2 Friend 1 is making excuses for Friend 2's alleged behavior and making me doubt my bf, also. And saying things like Friend 2 is so beautiful and women are jealous of her when I don't think this is the case, at least with me. She doesn't even hang out with Friend 2, she's closer to me. So I'm confused. Friend 1 points out to me incidents showing how guys like her and describes women I don't think are that pretty as beautiful and gorgeous. She says it in exaggerated tones. even Friend 1 told me once not to expect others to be as good a friend as I am. I am good to my friends and they say they care about me yet they seem "double edged" if you know what I mean. My bf and I are moving away. Should I keep touch with these friends or not. PLEASE HELP. I'M CONFUSED. I'm at least 30 and my friends are ten years older or more and have never married. I NEED INSIGHTS TO FIGURE OUT IF THEY ARE BAD OR OK FRIENDS. the reason why i'm confused is because there is some good mixed in with some very bad behavior and comments. should i accept these as character flaws and keep them as friends from a distance or boot them altogether. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE. Friend 2 also asked my guy if she could visit (our new home address), my bf told her it was up to me, and she told me that (I) won't mind.

how to know who is backstabbing you?how to retaliate peacfully? How do you know that your coworker hates you because when I am around with them they are very nice and showing nice actions to me but I can sense that its only a cover up

How come the backstabbing arrogant buttkissing cutthroat jerks always get ahead in an office environment? i sware! i wish i could see one of those people what they deserve!!!! those freaking jerks!! sneaky underhanded good ol boy!! i work so hard!!!! getting recommendations from coworkers!! then the person that tries to get me in trouble and gets buddy buddy with the other jerks then he gets ahead!!! arghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want to leave but i cant!!! i have a kid on the way its not fair!!! maybe i should be sneaky and cheat on my wife so i can get ahead like them!!! NOT!!

Condescending Jobs-worth boss and 'anal' backstabbing co-workers.? OK i'll try and keep this short. In short i have been out of the military for a year now, where I have project managed 10 people on a few electrical projects and the like. Now have taken a job on the railways. However the past year has been a rollercoaster of experience good and bad. I started off with one department and found that to be very bitchy and clicky. I tried to fit in, but learning the job was difficult when people won't tell you the information or where to find it. I tolerated this behavour for 6 months trying to be patient, kind etc... 'biding my time...'. Then i changed to another Department. after i got fed up of this behavour. All was going fine, until the my boss got promoted (same boss just he has a different title and salary). and now has spent the past 3 months being a condesending little W***r (he is in his early 30's). I have enjoyed my time here until 3 months ago. The problem is the boss i have is always chasing for his full promotion (he's assistant manager, looking for full manager, now the vacancy is empty). He watches his back so carefully, always wanting things written down etc.. He'll ask favours but never really give them in return; when he does you have to be 'ticked off' in a mental 'favours book' in his head. If you refuse overtime etc... He officiously tells you OK, gets all lordy and then ask someone else; reminding you that don't ask him for overtime in future (even though he has clearly stated no overtime, we only get it if he's in a fix!) He micro-manages the smallest thing. He's always, always on about health and safety. He can never give a straight answer to any question regarding what might affect you. Any sense of acheivement you have from doign a job is quicky removed with a critial reveiw of : 'why didn't you do this' or 'why has it took this long', 'so and so would have done it like this', 'is there a training issue', 'You need to be more proactive' etc... it just seems any amount of work you do for this thankless B****rd is never enough. Also he questions everything you do, and never backs you up EVER!!! Unless its for his own face gain. I'm not the only person this is happening too though... Then there is the 2 coworkers, his number 2's. (I work as part of a 4 man rotating shift team, one of us on at a time). Who complain and bitch about his analness behind his back, how bad a boss he is etc... but then behind the back of the guy you have replaced shifts as soon as he is gone they slag him off. One of these Number 2's has his eye on a management position and althought a nice guy i don't trust him (I worked alongside him since the start of my time, until 3 months ago). He tries to ring me off shift when he drives home, for infornmation and a gossip. I have taken to turning my phone off (I luckily changed contract so have given a PAYG number as my 'Real' phone). As i don't want to hear about work. I have held out for 3 months. I am getting more snappy and irritable at home. I suffer from depression anyways. but this really isn't helping. I'm losing all faith in my abilities! As i feel i may be actually clueless in my trade afterall... Help!! I forgot to mention, that he lords it up over all 6 of us. and any 'grammatiacl errors' in speaking or writing, he's quick to correct you in front of co-workers. making you feel liek a complete cretin! I have had this 1st hand. Also have seen him do it to others. its unreal! I thought the military were bad! Andy W. I have a feeling deep down you might be right, but i'd like to do a job where i'm not having to learn and be made tofeel a T**t for not knowing stuff. that i'm supposed to guess at. Think i might take the gamble an try set up on my own.

How do I deal with a jealous, backstabbing supervisor at work? I work as a concierge in a building where wealthy people live. My supervisor is a head concierge and I've become aware that he's been talking trash about me to residents as well as coworkers. He is very jealous of my skills and previous experience and he doesn't seem to understand that I am not after his job (which I made clear in a lot of different ways). I also think that he is afraid that residents will like me more than him perhaps, and that I may receive gifts and such, more than him (it's the nature of this job). I'm still quite new, and I really do not want people to think badly of me, but I'm not as sneaky and witty as he is so I'm not sure how to defend myself. Can anyone help? (by the way he's gay, in his late 40's and seems to have a drinking problem)

Is it normal to dislike many coworkers you work with? I cant stand some of my coworkers!? Ive been a nurse now for 12 years and there a few new nurses that just got hired on and we work on the same shift. These new nurses are wonderful and do everything but sometimes they get on my nerves and work too hard!! They never take their breaks or lunches and work work work. I refuse to be this way! I take my time and whatever i dont finish gets done by the next shift. I also make sure i take my breaks and lunches. Sometimes i feel guilty b/c it seems like im the only one who takes their entitled breaks. There is another nurse who just thinks her shit doesnt stink and this is so annoying! I hate working with her! I hate working with a bunch of women! They suck!! They're so needy and jealous half the time and gossip behind ones back Sometimes i wish i was a man or worked with mostly men..Men seem more laid back and dont get so worked up about stuff. Oh..i forgot the backstabbing that goes on too!! I think i only like 2-3 nurses i work with out of the 15. Is this normal?

What's the best way to stick it to a backstabbing co-worker? I took a leave of absence from my part-time job at Gillette due to the rude immature behavior of two of my coworkers...both jealous, sneaky backstabbers. I am going back to school b/c I refuse to remain stuck in Another dead-end job and have returned at my bosses request b/c I need the money and there are very few jobs out there now. I am thinking that ignoring her and refusing to be affected by her behavior is the best way to stick it to her. SHE HATES the fact that I have returned...HAHAHAHA!! Thanks everyone!! great advice;)

What can I say to nosy/two-faced ex-coworkers when I run into them? I left a 20 year dental job last summer. I needed major surgery and needed 3 months recoup. I know that is a long time to hire a temp, and I offered to come back, but my boss was a jerk and didn't want me back. Under 10 employees and these guys are exempt from labor laws! Not only that, he made me sign a paper saying I was voluntarily leaving my job so I couldn't collect unemployment! (I am still unemployed, can't find anything in dental at all! No jobs here! Living on husband's salary and things are very tight. It is depressing.) The other 4 women who work there are all backstabbing gossipers. I tried to avoid them and just went about my work. I liked the actual job, so I tried to ignore them as best I could. They all want to know your business, then talk about you behind your back. The other day I saw one of them in a store, and I ducked out to avoid her. I know eventually I will run into one of them again. I don't want them to know any of my business. What can I say when this happens? I know they will be all smiles, ask the usual-how are you. Then they will want to know if I'm working, etc. I really don't want to admit I am still unemployed, they will have a field day with that! I really need a good/smart response that makes it clear I have no intention of talking about my life. I have moved past all the pettiness and want to forget it, not wonder if they are still talking about me! What would you say?

What would you do in this situation-drunk coworkers? Sorry wasnt quite sure where to put this but I thought it fitted here better than the business section. My co-worker is spreading malicious lies and rumours about me to my boss, basically because she disapproves of me...I am not guilty of what I have been accused of. My boss basically sucks up this womans butt and panders to her every need, but because the boss is only in once or twice a week she doesn't really know whats going on. Basically the woman who is backstabbing me is a drunk...she uses her lunch break to drink and comes back in hammered. She also seems quite depressed. Everybody (apart from boss) knows she drinks but its a very small, clost knit business an I doubt anyone else would tell. She clearly has a problem, and I normally have sympathy for people with substance abuse problems, but she is deliberately sabotaging me and trying to get me fired...should I tell my boss about the drinking? Not to dob her in it you understand, to let my boss understand why she's behaving the way she is towards me. What would you do?

So I had a coworker call me a liar, what to do Monday? Here is the deal, I sent an email out which had some back and forth on it between us. I sent this to a person to note the urgency of the situation, there was nothing angry or harmful directed toward the person I forwarded it on to. On my way out I told the coworker that I forwarded the email with a note and he/she kind of freaked about it and said are you serious? I replied... "nah Im just kidding..." and she said seriously, did you send that and I said yes I did. After that he/she said "oh wow you just lied to me." she said that in front of the boss. Back to this person, we were at a party and she/he asked me in front of their spouse if I liked her/him... he/she was drunk so the truth comes out. I of course lied and said he/she was a nice person... he/she then said I like you, just not the quality of your work. So this person is obviously not to be trusted, and when I attempted to trust her with information she/he spread it around. so i know I am dealing with a backstabbing coworker. I intend to confront him/her monday to talk about why they called me a liar... I mean heck I told the person I sent the email, I found it redundant that he/she asked me again, not sure why I said ah im just kidding... perhaps I was nervous or worried? Well what do you think? How should I deal with this coworker on this issue? Talk to the boss? talk to her in person?

Is there any books on how be competitive? How to betray people, and how to stay on top? I just stepped into wicked competitive world. I hate it. I've been losing. I find my coworkers backstabbing and talking dirt behind me so they can bring me down. I find my friends backstabbing me. I help my friends with exams yet to find them getting a better grade than me for the course. My boss doesn't seem to acknowledge me much. I want to learn how to stay on top, backstab others and be like them so I can compete in this cruel world. I've been too gullible, naive, absentminded and kind. If I continue like this, I will be wiped out.

have you ever witnessed a coworker back stabbing another coworker and then being friendly to the person who? they are backstabbing's face? i think i am arseeing it happen to someone else but i'm not sure, because i dont here the whole or direct conversation, just curious, and what are the signs of a backstabber before u even know they are backstabbing

employees like 'Steve' at workplace? I recently posted about Steve the backstabbing coworker at our bank who will do this: receive a call from a customer, I immediatley hear my name as in 'USC did what?', Steve then runs to supervisor mentioning my name nonstop, Steve will then email me about what I supposedly did wrong. My boss says to ignore him so I do what boss says or try to anyway. I got lots of great answers from you guys earlier but now want to know how to deal with Steve's friend and motherly figure named Samantha at work. If I do not speak to Steve she will ask 'USC, why do you not talk to Steve?' I once gave an honest answer and was told I was paranoid. It is obvious that Steve is her boy so how should I resond to Smantha without rocking the boat because she is a fiesty one just like Steve? I think Samantha enjoys Steve harassing me because someone once told me they both probably do not like me anyway.

I am so discouraged about this job? This is my second week coming up and I don't have prior experience per se so EVERYTHING is new. The problem is it is on the job training and it is not structured at all. We do medical procedures for my job and I look at the Patient Information sheets that describe the procedure to explain to people over the phone and my supervisor will tell me to put that person on hold and tell me "we don't use the words...." and my thinking is then why the hell is it written out on this paper??!! It feels like everything I say is wrong yet there is no written out way of what is right. I swear the only communication I get from her is her correcting me. And to tell the truth about it I am and do get embarrassed because its in front of the established co workers. I accept the corrections gratefully and professionally and I dont want to let her know about my frustrations because she may think I am not handling pressure/correction as well as I portray.Since I am a new hire I am on probation for 90 days which means she can easily say im just not cutting the mustard and let me go. I just got this job and I need to settle down would you quit or hang in there under these circumstances? I didnt even include the rude backstabbing coworker that thinks she can treat me any kind of way because I am new and she's an asset that my boss will not confront.....

Should I be upfront and tell my boss of my frustrations or carry on the can do image? This is my second week coming up and I don't have prior experience per se so EVERYTHING is new. The problem is it is on the job training and it is not structured at all. We do medical procedures for my job and I look at the Patient Information sheets that describe the procedure to explain to people over the phone and my supervisor will tell me to put that person on hold and tell me "we don't use the words...." and my thinking is then why the hell is it written out on this paper??!! It feels like everything I say is wrong yet there is no written out way of what is right. I swear the only communication I get from her is her correcting me. And to tell the truth about it I am and do get embarrassed because its in front of the established co workers. I accept the corrections gratefully and professionally and I dont want to let her know about my frustrations because she may think I am not handling pressure/correction as well as I portray.Since I am a new hire I am on probation for 90 days which means she can easily say im just not cutting the mustard and let me go. I just got this job and I need to settle down would you quit or hang in there under these circumstances? I didnt even include the rude backstabbing coworker that thinks she can treat me any kind of way because I am new and she's an asset that my boss will not confront.....

A tough situation, what should I do? I have three cats. Three years ago I rescued a cat that was living in a drainpipe outside of my apartment complex. My landlord asked me to take it in because winter was coming. So my fiancé and I took her in and got her spayed and got her all of her vaccinations and we have had her ever since. Apparently at some point in the past year or two, the owners of the complex made a rule that people were only aloud to have two pets. Our apartments are inspected yearly to check for damage. They have done two inspections in our unit and the owner has seen all of them on both of those occasions and said nothing. No damage to the unit whatsoever. My fiancé works here and we have to live here in order to keep the job. My fiancé’s backstabbing coworker sent them an email and told them that we have three cats, even though they already knew it. Now they are saying that we have 7 days to give one of them up. We explained the situation to them and so did my landlord with no success. Any suggestions?

Doesn't this seem kinda backstabbing to you? My friend, who is also a coworker, knew there was this guy that my mom was going to introduce me to. My friend was the only person I told that my mom was going to introduce me to this guy. The guy lives across the street from my friend. They would have conversations in the driveway about random things. Sometimes they'd talk about me. She asked him if he'd met me yet and he said, "no" so she told him he should come over and meet me one day when I'm over visiting. Well the other night, he gave my friend his number. She called him and they had a conversation on the phone. What I don't understand is why she felt so compelled to call him. When I ask her, she says it was out of curiosity. The whole thing hurt my feelings and she feels it shouldn't because she was "woman enough" to tell me they talked on the phone. Please put this into perspective for me. Let me also add that I'm not in high school. I'm 24. Also, she feels that she did nothing wrong. She actually had the audacity to say that I should apologize to her because I told her that I don't feel like a true friend would do that to me. This is a small thing but it has great significance. I'm going through some things in my life and I counted on her as my shoulder to lean on. I cannot be friends with someone who, at any moment, lets their curiosity about a man overshadow our friendship.

Betrayal and backstabbing at work? Have you ever had trust upon someone at work, whom you thought was a good friend, well-wisher and finally you realize that he/she has deceived, betrayed and backstabbed you? How did it feel? It has been almost 5 months since a married woman 5 years older than me who I thought was a friendly coworker filed a harassment complaint against me at work and got me fired without investigation and I am still not able to recover from the mental trauma. She was casually talking to me until the last day I saw her but, when she filed the complaint, she told the HR that she is not comfortable talking to me.

Don't you just llove everything that comes with the job? Hey, i'm 16, just got a job and I'm learning the fundamentals of work and how stressful it can be sometimes. But how do you handle backstabbing, the drama, the crushes on coworkers, and all that fun stuff? Not only that, but the place i'm working at now is full of a bunch of girls(i'm a girl also) and drama is usually going on every night and it gets fairly annoying. But how do you handle this? Just go in a corner and take a deep breath and go on with life? Just quit? What do you do at work in your situation?

I always feel so alone, and it's hard to meet true friends when you enter the working world...? I had three best friends, and we were so close for over 12 years. But after college two of them kind of faded into their own world and became very selfish. And the other one moved away (we talk, of course, but it's nice to have friends close by as well). I have quasi-friends whom I could hang out with if I wanted to, but I prefer meaningful friendships. And it's so hard to meet decent people in the working world. Even coworkers here are all about backstabbing and a$$-kissing so they can get promotions and raises, and it's hard to make real friends at work. I have a boyfriend, but I don't get to see him much, and I just feel so lonely and alone. I have nothing to go home to, and nothing to look forward to, and it's frankly quite depressing. Has anyone dealt with this and overcome it? Any suggestions?

How can I deal with this coworker who is rude? Heres the thing-- I have been at my job for 2 years now-- theres this heavy set gal that works in the jewelery department-- she is always giving me dirty looks and talking about me behind my back and even in front of me like I am not there-- she flrits with all these guys and flips her hair around alot-- she isnt cute-- alot of the people she has worked with says she is backstabbing, manipulative, jealous and catty... they say that she isnt happy with herself that is why she is always trying to start problems with other coworkers-- well lately I have been her target for whatever reason.. I have never been rude to her I have always been nice-- she rolls her eyes at me when I am around and talks about me saying I am stupid and annoying and that I am ugly. I am heavyset too. But I have never talked badly about her or been rude. I was talking to another coworker yesturday in the breakroom and she comes in and throws her purse down on the table and goes to the snack machine gets a snack then gets a juice and as she walks by the male coworker I was sitting next too she says to him very loudly in front of me " I feel sorry for you" and he goes "why??" and she points to me...and he looked at her like she was crazy and said WHATEVER..I dont understand her jealously and hatred towards me.I never did anything.She is buddy buddy with one of my supervisiors who is rude too-- he is always putting me down in front of people and gets mad because I wont take his crap.well they have been ganging up on me alot lately. I have talked to several people in management and they wont do anything. My only option is to call corporate office and talk to them but that is frowned upon. I have been told to confront the girl and my supervisior... my mom has even seen first hand how they are..what should I do?

What would you do about a coworker like this?? I have one particular coworker Ill refer to her as "Grumpy"--she has always been 2 faced and in peoples business and gets mad if you don't pay attention to her and are friends with her.She has turned several coworkers in to management for not "respecting" her and treating her rudely only because they dont like her and dont want to deal with her.She is manipulative 2 faced backstabbing and thinks that her stuff dont stink.She swears that she never gossips but I have heard her. Well She use to always bug me when I got hired there and talk to me than I started to avoid her because I just couldnt deal with her. She started saying things about me.Well b4 my boyfriend and I got together she did things with him and basically used him to pay for her to go out to eat(she has a friend at work that also went along with them and used James to).well all of a sudden she started to ignore james and treat him like crap and stopped being his friend.as soon as she knew him and I were together she started to come around him as soon as she knew about him and I. She had used him--disregarded his feelings for her and just sent him on his marry way.Well Now she talks incesently about James and I and has called him and tried to talk to him when I am around and she has this up to no good grin on her face when she comes around him.We both cant trust her.He has asked her to stop calling him and told her that he doesnt want to have anything to do with her because of her treating him so badly and that she hurt him. She didnt care and made a big scene one day in front of other people about him telling her how he felt and that he is very happy with me.I turned her into management for harrassment and ironically less than a week later she turns me in for not respecting her and I told her right in front of the manager I didnt like her and she is dishonest and manipulative. How would you deal with her? I am at my wits end. She keeps bugging us. another thing is that she is always staring at James and I. When we kiss or hold hands she gives us dirty looks--I KNOW it sounds like a soap opera but I m about to go crazy.

How can I seperate myself.....? How can I separate myself from drama at work? You would not believe the crap that goes on at my workplace. I won't get into it because it would take way too long to explain. Its hard to avoid it because its not a big place. I haven't got a problem with people coming to me for advice and comments etc. But somehow I always get put in the middle of crap at work and even my coworkers' personal lives. I come home with an attitude sometimes because of it. These people call me their friends but I have never had friends like this before. So much backstabbing and the like. I am 33 years old, I don't need this childish stuff anymore. And no, changing careers isn't an option. Any suggestions/advice? Moving up is also not an option. Its difficult to explain. Its hard to avoid anything when there are 10 of us back to back. It is a very busy workplace.

stressed at work? I have been having a great deal of stress at work, due to backstabbing and favoritism with this one individual that the office manager seems to favor alot. I've been dealing with this for 2 1/2 yrs. I work in a medical setting and deal with alot of things, But i have had enough. I'm planning on working for two more weeks and giving my two weeks notice in the middle of June. I'm the only hispanic worker there, and they use me alot for translating to patients. I hate the fact that they don't appreciate that. Now they want me to close an extra day, and i told them i couldn't due to stress and family issues. i asked them if they could ask the coworker they favor so much to do it, but they said they cant touch her hrs. due to the fact that she has seniority. My guess is the bestfriend (office manager) doesn't want her friend doing the late shift. So what should I do? Give my walking papers mid june, or deal with the B.S. a little longer. I'm really ready to quit and find something better.

Feel uncomfortable attending extracurricular work parties-do I have to go? I work at a small company of around 20 people. The company has 2 extracurricular parties each year in which guests are invited. Pretty much everyone attends unless they have a prior obligation. Everyone at my company is married with children except for me and maybe 2 other employees. Going to these parties single I feel like the 3rd wheel or like I am intruding on all the couples there and even worry they may think I'm flirting with their husbands when I'm just being friendly to socialize. I enjoy the employee only parties but not the parties where you bring guests for this reason. Even if I was married, I still don't think I want to attend these. I find these parties forced. You are forced to socialize with other coworkers some of whom never talk to you during the work day or who weren't nice to you in the past by talking behind your back or backstabbing you. Work parties are different from regular parties with friends and family in that you have to socialize with others who may not have treated you nicely in the past. I do have a boyfriend but want to keep my private life separate from work as I don't trust some of my coworkers so don't feel comfortable bringing my boyfriend or future spouse to a work party. I also don't like my job nor feel passionate about it. I want to tell my coworkers, boss and supervisor that I appreciate the invitation but prefer the smaller parties during the work day or right after work. Does anyone else feel the same way I do? Will my coworkers respect and understand my decision not to go or will they give me a hard time for not going accusing me of being unfriendly when I'm simply not comfortable going to the larger parties? Will I get fired for not going?

Office politics!!? I'm 19 years old and I work at a bank and my coworkers love to talk behind other employees' backs. They get upset if they dont put a lot of paper in the copier and stuff like that, instead of asking the employee to put in more paper, they just complain about it, dont they realize that the person isnt going to stop this habit, if they arent aware it irritates people? I guess my queston is, does anybody work somewhere where there isnt constant backstabbing? Everywhere i have worked has people like this, so i was just wondering!

Is it "wrong" for me to seduce the son of a woman at my work after she backstabbed me? One of my 3 jobs is at a neighborhood bar. Thismiddle aged woman who hangs there(she helps out sometimes, but she's not an official employee; friend of the owner, girlfriend of the asst manager) has been badtalking me & convincing the owner to fire me, even tho I don't do anything wrong to anybody. (she's a jealous hater) It's at the point where she has put my job at stake. Plus, she has gotten into disruptive, vicious Jerry Springer-esque fights w/ customers when they confront her about her backstabbing. If I don't get fired first, I might just quit to avoid the drama. I've been VERY professional so far...I even ignored the disruptive fights, even tho I knew they were arguing about ME! I've avoided hooking up w/ a cute coworker b/c I don't want to be unprofessional. I'm one of the ONLY professional ones at that bar. So if I get fired, I will have no reason to be professional anymore...so I will seduce the woman's 20-yr-old "player" son! Haha that'll show her! She thinks I'm naive! By the way, this boy is a player that brags about getting w/ lots of girls. His own mother(the one who backstabs me) calls him a "wh0re" and says it w/ no remorse! LOL. But I don't think she'll want me going for him, since she doesn't like me. And if she gets me fired, it's b/c she doesn't want me around...therefore I don't think she'll be too happy to have me drive up to the bar the week after I'm done there, and pick up her son!(he hangs at that bar w/ his mom & drinks soda since he's underage) She thinks I'm this naive innocent girl, simply b/c I have young looks(I'm 25 but I look 18) & I act very professional. (in other words, I hold back all of my perverted jokes or arrest stories when I'm at work) I will show them that they were wrong...in words of Britney Spears, I'm not that innocent! Haha. Plus, I will get to have fun with a cute guy. Not only do I want to pork this woman's 20-yr-old son, but I also want to hook up w/ my 28-yr-old male coworker hahahahaha. UPDATES!! :) TO SKEPTIC: Yeah I do want to seduce her son, b/c he is cute & I'm into younger guys. Up until now I was restraining myself for the sake of professionalism(the whole "you don't eat where you sh!t" proverb). But if I'm going to get fired or be forced to quit, then I'll have no more professional ties...or references for that matter...therefore, no reason to act professional! Ditto for the 28-yr-old Irish/Polish coworker. He hit on me before but I turned him down simply b/c he's a coworker. But once I'm fired/quit, he will no longer be a coworker...so I'll be free to actually do what I want! :) TO BOOKWORM: This woman doesn't actually work here. She helps out here and there. She hangs out there all the time & gets free drinks. She is the asst manager's significant other, & a friend of the owner...she's known these 2 men since childhood. How much do I like the job?...It's ok. Well in all honesty, I don't need it. I have a full-time job plus 2 part-time jobs for extra cash(yes, 3 jobs total)...this bartending job is one of the 2 part-time gigs. I like my other part-time job better. The reason I hold onto this job is for extra cash, & as a reference so I can someday move up to working at a more upscale bar. So I have mixed feelings about the place. I'm wondering if it'd be easier to just quit, save myself the drama, & try to get more shifts from my other part-time gig. I can deal w/ drama and haters...I just can't deal w/ people getting me fired or trying to purposely screw me up when I'm working. I'd rather quit before I get fired!

What sounds like a better choice to you.......? I am an IT professional that works at a "BIG4" firm. The morale is low and it is a somewhat backstabbing environment. Employees fight over projects (to have high pressure assignments handed out) and all work more that 55 hours a week. Recently, I went on vacation and received a call from my director about a class that I hadn't registered for. Mind you at the time I am in Honduras. On the call he says to me that I should looking for the nearest internet connection to register for this class. It cost me 200 bucks to get to an internet WI-FI location and register for the class. The entire experience ruined my vacation and when I came back to work I was greeted with a verbal reprimand that caused me to leave the office in tears. I feel that I can't trust my coworkers. Most of them are male and very chauvinistic, I feel that aI should leave immediately. Everyday, I go into the office and I feel that I am under undue scrutiny. Should I stay and try to work through the tensions in my professional environment or should I just find another position (preferably out-side of IT) and attempt to find another career path to walk down.

Do I need to discuss something personal in my life in my job? I have one son and I had another,but gave him for open-adoption (family friends)about 7 years ago.I started this job 2 years ago.Been working in the same community where I had my son. But,in my job-I have never ever told any of my co-workers.I work with all females.And females can be very catty and backstabbing.I just work with them.So,no one knows to my knowledge.Or at least I think they might not know.Unless others mentioned to them. Now I work with someone that saw me pregnant 7 years ago.But she said,"Oh don't you have two kids?" I said,"No" I have one." I feel like such a liar.!And I am not that type of person.I just don't lie. But for some reason,I don't feel comfortable with telling or airing my personal life to them.Why?So they can go in their little corners and gossip about it? It's a personal thing to me.I had told people in the past,and people can be so downright hurtful or judgmental ,about the situation.They don't know me or my situation or what I was going through in my life at that time. Please,mature answers only.Thank You.I was adopted myself.I am in contact with my birth family.I am also involved in my son's life.Thanks to the open- adoption! So I don't want to discuss this with my coworkers.And the two boys are from the same Dad. Ughhhh!!! I feel like I'm living a lie.Or do I need to tell people,"Hey,guess what?" "I have a secret to share". What do I do??????

What do you do with a nasty coworker...? who is so selfish and self-centered that even when the group as a whole has had enough of it and turns the tables on her, all she does is cry righteous indignation, backstabbing, and why would anyone do these things to her? Seriously, this woman has "I do no wrong" down to an art form--she's even convinced herself.

Will you help me with my workplace question? I work as a junior mechanical engineer. I am currently working on a project with a senior engineer who is about 32. He's really cool - pretty immature but cool. Whenever I ask him a question he likes to dawdle on giving me the answer - usually it takes 20 min to get an answer when it should take 30 seconds. Today I had a quick question about something so I asked him but he got a phone call, so I went to my boss and asked him the same question who gave me a swift answer. However, after lunch, my coworker was acting like he was angry at me for "backstabbing him" - I think he was joking as he would come over and rip ass in my cube. However, he said I looked like a dumbass asking my boss in front of 3 other people and this sort of pissed me off (I just laughed it off). Am I being too dramatic? How can I get answers from this dude as I am really easygoing so it is easy for him to tell me to screw off? I ask like 4 questions a day so I try not to be a pest.

Irritating 'greeting' coworker that stands outside entrance door to work....is awkward...? He waits outside until start of shift smoking and I know he doesn't like me...backstabs and gossips with cronies...I used to say hello...or nice weather, etc. until I heard his backstabbing get worse. Now, I just walk on by him without saying anything but he makes this a big deal too.....by muttering under his breath...and giving me dirty looks. I was always the first to speak to him when I did in the past. He can gossip any other time, but wants to play this game like I am snotty and not speak to me first. He is coworker and not management. I asked others if they say hello to him....and they say no. No big deal for them? I get the added dirty looks...? I am even thinking of parking in the lot [out of my way] so I won't have to pass in front of him, but go straight into door....I don't know why people are so fake with greetings or not when they can't stand ya anyway? I'd rather not speak at all. Yesterday, I noted when another coworker pulled in and walked to door with him..

I've been invited to a party given by an ex-coworker. Should I go? As for who will be there, it's mostly other people I used to work with. I was only there a couple of months and I didn't really feel it was a good work environment. There was a lot of gossip and backstabbing. I'm not even sure the person doing the asking didn't gossip about ME the minute I left the room! Though she was always really sweet to my face.... I left that job when a former employer of mine wanted me back. I'm usually pretty assertive about saying no...but for some reason I'm waffling this time. lfh1213--good point.

How can I stay with a boss that has no morals? I have been working at my job for a year. I like the job, just not the people I work with. To me, they all seemed kinda backstabbing. Well, a few months ago, a coworker, I will call him Ryan, made a pass at me. He was drunk and grabbed me in a place where I was absolutely offended. I told him that I was happily taken and that he needed to leave me alone. After weeks of that incident. There was another incident. He was angry about something and he yelled at me and got in my face, touching noses even, and he was calling me little kiddie names. Just recently, after they wouldn't fire him for that, another incident happens. Of course there is the yelling and the getting in my face, but he also reaches up and then hits me in the nose. It is all on camera, and after I press charges and the police watch the tape and after my bosses watch the tape, they say that he is fired. I work in a hotel by the way. I have found out a lot about Ryan since then. He has a history of assault and got fired from his last job at a school for hitting one of the students. His wife has left him for abuse as well and is unable to see his children. So Clearly Ryan has some issues! Then please tell me why they hired him at the other hotel that my bosses own. I feel like its a slap in the face and that I should quit my job because it sucks that I have to work with people who don't care about me at all. And also please tell me why people have been treating me differently because of this whole thing. Everyone here has known Ryan for a long time, so I know they are probably close to them. But I don't feel like people like me anymore. I could be getting paranoid. But I don't know. Thanks so much for taking the time to read this!

Why can't women work well together? Okay, wait, let me clarify... 1) Obviously not all women. There are many great women to work with, I work with many now. Strong, confident, smart. I'm not talking about them... But, generally speaking, men seem so much better at getting along with each other at work. They don't hold a grudge, they do their job, they laugh, they fight, they get over it. They keep it simple. There isn't as much petty crap (backstabbing, jealousy, gossip) that goes on. I love my female friends so I hate to even say this. But 90% of the time when I have some stupid issue at work, it's related to a woman coworker. I don't know. I just wish it wasn't like this.

Co-worker lying and defaming your character? I know this is a situation not easily dealt with, but just need some opinions on what can be done. Please NO ugly responses, thanks. My daughter worked at a company for 3 years and slowly worked her way up to assistant manager position and was a very hard worker, very dedicated and very reliable. However, from day one she always had to contend with another coworker who was older than her, very insecure, very jealous of the relationship that my daughter developed with the owner and his wife. There were incidents over time that would occur, which usually would result in a meeting with my daughter, the co-worker and the owner and his wife. Generally things would be resolved and they would move on to the next issue. A few months would go by, things would be quiet and before you know it, the co-worker would be at it again. I never could understand how this situation was allowed to go on and on and never fully be resolved, but it did. When my daughter was up for consideration for a managers positition, the co-worker turned up the heat and started telling lies to the owners wife, telling her that she felt that my daughter was on drugs, that she was stealing from them, that she (the co-worker) saw my daughter taking things out of the company safe, that my daughter was sleeping with customers, the list was endless. All of this mess resulted in a big blow out at work with the owners wife suddenly deciding to turn against my daughter and she and her husband were fighting viciously over my daughter. The owner stood up for my daughter, the wife went the other way. So the end result was my daughter willingly offered to do a drug test and was refused. She had nothing to hide and was willing to prove her innocence. My daughter got told she had to take 3 days off without pay and "get her life together". My daughter was stunned to say the least and was so distraught and upset over how this whole situation turned out that she refused to take the 3 days off as she felt it was unjustifiable and she told me she felt as if she did take the 3 days that it was an admission to something she was not guilty of. Well even after my daughter left, the vicious lying and backstabbing continued because customers who were still patronizing this establishment would run into my daughter and tell her of all the horrible things that this woman was STILL saying about her. Now my daughter tells me today that the new girl that replaced her has started to be subjected to the very same treatment as my daughter. This older woman is extremely OBESE and is single and I just don't know if her motivation is because she feels so threatened by these young girls that she condemns them to hell from the moment they start working there. Are there any actions that my daughter can take? She has had a very difficult time finding a job since this happened and she is a single mom trying to make a living for her and her 5 year old son. Is there any recourse for her? Can a lawyer help in a situation like this? Thanks for any or all sincere advice.